I’ve often wondered why some people get to live in the same home for years and years, while others move from place to place, practically their entire life. Of course, I’m not so silly as to think these aren’t choices they’ve made. But something curious has happened to me, practically my entire life. I’ve longed to live in the same home, like the first type that I describe here, but have ended up being more like the latter victim!
From childhood to present day, I can’t count the times that I never got to live in the same residence for years and years; I have moved around that much! And it isn’t as if I came from a Military background, where this sort of thing is common. So, why me? Why this nomadic lifestyle? And what have I gained from it, next to exhaustion and the wish to just be stable, once, and for all?
Well, as a kid, I followed my parents wherever they took us, and they moved around, a lot. I didn’t always know their reasons for it; I just know that this “hopping around” slowed down some when they uprooted the family from the Bronx and settled on Union City, N.J., for a while… I say, for a while, because some years later, my parents separated and, shortly afterwards, my mother moved the rest of the family to Weehawken, NJ., while my dad had moved back to the Bronx, where he remained in the same building for about 20 years. Go figure… a man after my heart! Nevertheless, true it is: that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!
I seem to have taken after them, in that respect, but not by choice, really, but rather by a pattern of sorts that seemed established for me, I think. You know how they say, that children learn what they live… I think that was true for me. By God, I moved around, a lot! A few times it was by choice; other times, it was more like a large, forceful hand swept me, from one place to another, causing me to experience a great deal of stress, and excitement, all at once. Do you realize how tiring that could be? All the packing, and unpacking, all the “uncertainty” in the interim, as I went “pushed” from place to place, never really understanding what was happening at the time or where I’d end up if I didn’t hurry up and find a new home! Moreover, it’s easier when going it alone; much heavier a deal when you have children of your own and are moving them around this way. It’s hard to set roots for them and yourself. But that was a way of life for me, and I never really understood it or was fully able to stop it from occurring!
A few times, I felt embarrassed by it, as if I was less of a person because my life proved so unstable, in the face of those who always remained put wherever they lived. But you know what? I got some things from it. I got to see many sides to life, many different sides to people, and many different sides to my self. I got to experience what it’s like to stabilize “self” through it all, so that I now am able to reason… that God knows what he’s doing with the life of someone willing to live with Him and have no regrets. So, from now on, it is what it is. At least now, I no longer have the need to ask, “How-ever did I get here?” For I know all the real reasons behind it.