Your today was your yesterday’s tomorrow, and your tomorrow is determined by what you create today. Life is such an amazing cycle, of sorts!
So many of us hold on to our past with such gusto, we don’t realize that each moment we spend there, we’re robbing the present, the future, and ourselves from having “own time and creation.” We hold on to the past, using longing, grudges, or visuals with which to find answers. When disappointed with our present life, we look back at the past and wish that particular kinder moments were with us again. When it seems we can’t get beyond a former hurt, we hold on to the injury with a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment. When making a certain, recurring decision, we look to the past for the clues to, what to do or not do!
In either instance, we cripple ourselves by not understanding that the only time, that looking back at the past serves us any good, is when those former situations lent us wise lessons. Otherwise, trying to reawaken the past, to bring it back or to take ourselves there once more, results in encountering a very frustrating and impenetrable wall.
It’s like literally trying to stand on the belly of Life’s Clock and rewinding time so that it brings us over to former days. Impossible! The only occasion that we see “time pieces” repeat former minutes or hours is daily, when all clocks bear the standard 24-hour calculation that indicate to us, AM or PM. This evening at 7:00 think back to this morning’s 7 o’clock; the two abide distinct, one from the other. In the morning, daylight arose; in the evening; nightfall descended, and on, and on, it goes this way. But, at any time of day or night, try your best to be back inside former times –or to have the former times come back for you– that you’ll find it is completely undo-able! Life moves forward, not backwards. Clocks, themselves, clearly demonstrates this fact [and reality] for us, in the most fascinating and alarming of ways! Time advances forward, does not regress, even for a moment. We grow older, not younger, regardless of how many cosmetic or surgeries therein we try! And yet, somehow…we can’t seem to dismiss the past.
Some of us see the past so vividly, and want it back so urgently that we dash towards it, thinking we can re-enter it and experience it all over again, only to go STOPPED, by the brick wall guarding it! We look into it, yearning to have it back, but can’t recapture the past. We cannot have it back; it is a thing and property of the former existence. It goes held hostage by this force, named Yesterday.
Conversely, many people are constantly running from the past! It’s as if they sense or see a slew of bad and dark spirits chasing them down every street they run, or creeping about every room they enter, or hiding under the bed or in a closet, waiting for an appointed time to spring upon on him or her that suffers this illusion. And they fill themselves with fear, with untold dread, ultimately paralyzing their ability to go freed from the past, and move on!
I once knew someone who lived in the past so much, her stories of the past became redundant and boring, and her steep frown, something of laughable inducement. At first, she won my sympathy, as her story unfolded and it all was interesting news to me. I felt badly for her, at how poorly her ex-husband had treated her. At second round, she gained my encouragement, as her same story recurred and I offered “bright side” viewpoints and got her to see new beginnings. At third round, she obtained my patience, as her same story rolled forth afresh and I got to thinking that we’re all human and sometimes need another round of pep-talk! By the fourth round, and the fifth round, and the sixth round, I started noticing a pattern here: she wasn’t letting go of the past, and I was losing my cool and wasting my time! I no longer felt sorry for her; she was bringing her misery unto her own self by not letting go of the ridiculous past. In fact, yikes, I began possibly comprehending her ex-husband and thinking him, the victim!
It rarely seems to matter, to those not letting go of the past, how frequently you try to explain that those days are gone and that nothing about the past can hurt them anymore. The holder, of the past, loves it there, loves being in that weird space, loves holding down pity parties and having company join them. Doesn’t know, and neither cares to find out, how to live in the present, create a beautiful tomorrow, and enjoy each moment that comes, stays, and then goes!
There have been a few times in my own life when my past appeared deeply tempting to me…deeply longed-for, deeply needed, and deeply missed. Even recently, I found myself yearning and wishing that a segment of the former ME was back again. She was younger, had less wrinkles and sagging jowls, a flatter stomach, more energy and stamina, the world was her Oyster and she lived surrounded by far more beneficial opportunities, than the current “I” encounters these days. I know what it feels like to want Yesterday’s moments relived again and that the “good” past had never ended. But that part of my life is mine, in memory only, while this very moment goes created.
I can look at my past, but only from this side of the brick wall guarding it. And yet, at the same time, I’m on the inside region, creating my tomorrow by what things I do today. And tomorrow, letting go of the past, I will look back at this moment and, once again, see it from the outside, afresh.
Letting go of the past!