This is one holiday with the power to get some of us singles thinking about our aloneness! Everywhere we turn, we see the propaganda, the couples who are united and in love, or the Hallmark movies that stir our hearts when written nicely; and we come away wondering if we aren’t missing something when we’re facing a single’s Valentine!
At least, those are the thoughts provoking me.
With the exception of a few, non-memorable relationships since my divorce, I’ve been single since 2007, and it’s been an okay journey right along. Except that this year I find myself going as far as… Oh, dear God, I’m hating to admit it!
Let me put it to you this way. Have you ever… thought of… an Ex, and kinda wish they had the hots for you again?
UGH! I can’t believe that I actually spilt those beans! But I did it, and I’m not even sure how I still feel about having done so!
This has to be normal, for some of us. Especially if the million-dollar apology hasn’t yet been issued from that person and you’d like the past resolved, and maybe even a new beginning to get underway. You know, a decent friendship perhaps?
Ahh, but then I start thinking about what it was like when I was involved with that Ex and those memories stop me dead in my tracks! It’s just time to move on, I tell myself, and stop looking to play with fire! But then, with me still lingers the longing…the desire…to be partnered up with someone and not have to go a single’s Valentine again, alone…
In this case, we have ourselves with whom to spend quality time and treat very well, on Valentine’s Day and every day in between. I’ve learned that if we can’t be good to ourselves, we won’t be good for anyone else. By being good and kind and thoughtful toward ourselves, we set boundaries that no one can cross. If we value ourselves, everyone would recognize it and respect us for it.
We can always go and buy ourselves a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, a lovely Card, and treat our Spirit-self to a wonderful dinner at our favorite restaurant. And then sit there, at the restaurant with your Unseen partner, and understand that all of the Couples around you are people with problems and relationship issues of their own. We mustn’t allow ourselves to assume that just because it appears Romantic it means that it is. All relationships require work, and sometimes the work involved just isn’t worth the trouble unless each person is right for the other.
On that note, a single’s Valentine can be a wonderful occasion to reconnect with one’s self. It is when we haven’t got a stronger relationship with self that we then feel the need to mesh with another person outside of ourselves. The work involved herein then is worth every attention and gift we give it.
Happy Valentine’s Day. 😀